💌 Issue 004: The alternative to the 5-year plan. What's a "life" routine? Oh, and don't date to marry.

Happy Sunday! You'll notice that "miribel.co" looks a little different this week. Originally, I named it "Miribel" because I simply couldn't think of a name from my list of names that encapsulated my intention and goals with this newsletter. But now I think I've finally found it - a little deep-dive down at the end! Was this newsletter forwarded to you by someone cool? — Subscribe now for free!

🔍 Today at a glance:

Length: 6-ish min | Readability: Grade 8 | Word Count: 1608

• Ignore the 5-year plan. One helpful exercise and a way to approach all these types of exercises.

• What is a "life" routine? A new series moving forward.

• Meaning behind Flourish

• Weekly roundup of articles and advice this week - why you shouldn't date to marry, what happens when you stop traveling constantly, & more!

🧠 Ignore the 5-Year "Life Plan"

Imagine getting to the end of your life and upon reflection, you realize that you didn't get to live life the way that you wanted to.

That's one of my biggest fears.

Time is our biggest asset, and with the hustle-bustle of daily life, it can become easy and comfortable to go on auto-pilot, to not question the status quo, and to forget about the "why" behind what you're doing.

I stumbled upon this "Letter to my Future Self" format a while back by Sahil Bloom where he writes a letter to himself every year on his birthday. My partner and I modified the prompts and shared our entries with each other (template below). 

I don't write a full-on letter to myself, but I do write in brief bulletpoints about each category of my life that comes up in my head when I answer each question.

I've also seen varying formats - where Payal Kadakia sets quarterly goals and focus areas, Mel Robbins talks about manifestation, and so much more. There are so many techniques and resources out there to help you ask the important, often difficult and sometimes scary questions that you need to ask in your life. 

But here's the important thing:

It doesn't matter which one you use so long as you do find one and you feel energized and good doing it.

Curate a practice that works for you and allows the time, space, and energy for you to reflect on your life.

My only caveat is that for these types of exercises... to my fellow Type-A ladies who want to predict their future 5-years in life: that's just not going to happen.

There's a balance of allowing spontaneity to arise in your life and encounter moments where you could've never predicted that life would unfold in that way (and when you encounter those moments, it's beautiful!) -- as well as being intentional with the direction where your life is heading... or else life, society, and those around us will determine that for us. It's a delicate balance! So when you complete any of these exercises, you will encounter questions in which you don't know the answers to (I certainly did! 🥲).

Don't feel bothered by all the unknowns. Sit with it and let it pass through you. The unknowns are what makes life beautiful. Control the factors that you know you can control, and let your life unfold in its mysterious, delightful ways.

Take some time today to reflect on where you are in your life and how you feel. 

The template is simple. Ask yourself the following:

Reflections on the Present:

What is working?

What isn’t working? 

What is draining my energy?

Changes to make:

Goals for the Future:

What are my big picture, ambitious long-term goals? (5 year time horizon; 3 max)

What are my short and medium-term goals that will set the appropriate trajectory?

What would winning the next 5 years look like? (Do 3 years if 5 years is too long)

What new habits or systems would be necessary to achieve these goals?

What are my anti-goals?

♟ What's a "life" routine - a new series

Yes, beyond the renaming of this newsletter, I'm also going to add something new.

I'm calling it a "life routine" for now, but moving forward, I'm going to start including a section in this newsletter each week that highlights the "life routines" of women and uncovering the honest reality of what it takes to manage everything in life. I'm excited to be interviewing executives, community members, thought leaders, entrepreneurs, and more. Before I started diving into it, I wanted to explain first what a "life routine" was - in my definition.

I was inspired by this post by Deborah Liu where she talks about all the people in her life that she relies on as part of her support system in order to manage everything (i.e. have it all) as a working mom, wife, daughter, and more.

When I initially read that post, I found myself being excited that a public thought leader was revealing the honest truth about what it takes to manage everything in her life (spoiler: she doesn't do it all by herself, she has a lot of help). I was also curious, because I realized I had further questions. I wanted to know more:

• When do you actually wake up? What do you do in your day to day?

• How do you stay sane? What practices do you incorporate? What would you recommend/has been the most effective? What is your best advice?

• Would you say you are confident and how have you gained that confidence over time?

• What are your biggest worries and insecurities? What drives you?

• And much more.

I don't think this is talked about enough in media, and I want to take an honest look into the realities of working women and what it takes. I'm excited to dive further next week with you all. 

✨ Meaning behind "Flourish"

When I started this newsletter, I didn't have any ideas for good names. Nothing stuck with me. I tested various names with friends, and nothing really stuck with me. I named it Miribel.co until I could find something that I felt encapsulated the mission and intention of the newsletter.

But recently, I finally found a word that captures the intention of this newsletter completely: flourish ✨.  I think I literally thought of it randomly one day, I can't even recall how I found the name, but after playing around with the logo, this is where we got to.

My intention with each week's newsletter is to provide you all with engaging and entertaining content that can help you and me flourish in our lives.

If we want to get brand-deep and meta, the new logo has 4 sparkles because I like the number four (I was born on April 4th); it reflects the four pillars we generally need in life to be live meaningful lives; when we sit on a chair, it's balanced because there are four legs on it supporting us. The four sparkles are all in different locations because it reflects how the pillars of life can often mean very different things for everyone, and the sparkles are all different sizes because different aspects of our lives don't all take the same amount of space in our lies.

I thought of that all on the spot, but simply stated - it just feels more aligned than miribel.co. A lot of it is intuition-based 😆 Nonetheless, I hope you like the new name 👯‍♀️ - the domain will be updated this week so it becomes less confusing 😉

🫶🏼 Important reminder:

Modified caption from @sitwithwhit:  Self improvement and self help tools try to sell you on the idea that “if you do X” you’ll somehow be able to avoid the burden and pain of being human.

It’s a very fine line between self-improvement and an obsession with creating the perfectly healed self. The first one is necessary and the second leaves you constantly on alert for flaws and areas to fix.

Remember, we work on ourselves so that we can enjoy life, have better relationships, and achieve. We don’t engage in self improvement to be perfect. If you constantly feel like you’re just one self-help practice away from finally being worthy, loveable, healed, etc., it’s time to take a step back. Work on yourself. Become aware of the areas where you may be the problem. And remember, life is meant to be lived.

👀 Weekly Finds:

• 💓 Some advice on why you SHOULDN'T date to marry. I read somewhere that besides work, dating is one of the biggest stressors for women in their 20's. My friend was stressed recently about the pressure in her mid-20's of dating to marry. I sent this to her, and it validated her approach to dating. I thought I'd share it with you all!

• 😫 How to deal with a bad day at work. We all have those days - where it just sucks. Here's a better mental framework/process to help deal with it. It's worth a read. I love how she frames self-compassion and projecting our daily stressors into the future to contextualize the trigger. I'm definitely going to start implementing this!

• 🧠 24 pieces of advice in 24 months. Let's admit it. Our generation is very stressed and anxious about the future. Katie C. surveyed some of the people in her life that she admired the most: “what is one piece of advice you’d give to your 20 year old self?" It's a quick read, but a good one.

• 🌎 What it feels like to stop travelling. Are you one of those folks who loves to travel or aspires to live a life of constant travel? Chris G. dives more into his love of travel (the man travelled to 100+ countries) and his perspectives/thoughts now after the pandemic.

There's been a lot of changes this week (both with Flourish and in my personal life), but now that I'm settled into Palo Alto, I'm really excited to dive more into great content, interviews, and more each week.

Hope this newsletter helped and please reply to this email or submit here if you have any feedback! Feedback is a gift and helps me improve and make sure that these newsletters are more useful, thought-provoking, fun, and/or insightful for everyone. 

That’s it for today!  See you next week 💌