💌 Expansionists, Brokers, and Conveners. What is your social networking style?

Hey there! I'm Miribel, helping you learn something new about yourself or the world each week. I hope you are all excited to celebrate the upcoming holiday season! I just came back from traveling to Spain. I didn’t bring my laptop, and it was a refreshing and slightly jarring experience. Apologies for the Friday newsletter not sending as promised - I ran into some technical issues and didn’t have access to my laptop. Nonetheless, I’m excited to be back and curating some of the great finds I discovered during my time off!

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🤯 What is your social networking style?

Have you ever heard someone say:

• “I prefer to only have a small circle of friends.”

• “I try to meet as many people as I can.”

• “I love connecting my friends with my other friends.”

If so, you may be familiar with the three distinct styles of social networking identified in Marissa King's book "Social Chemistry." These styles are Expansionist, Broker, and Convener, and each has its own unique strengths and weaknesses.

I recently moved back to the Bay Area (temporarily!), and I've been thinking more deeply and intentionally about how I want to rekindle and build friendships, as well as continue to maintain and nurture my existing ones. Besides the fact that doing so genuinely brings me so much joy and happiness, research also shows that people who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression. Social connectedness generates a positive feedback loop of social, emotional, and physical well-being. So basically... it's good for you! 😉

Understanding your social networking style can help you navigate social situations and build strong connections with others. It can also help you break out of your comfort zone and diversify your perspectives if you want to expand your horizons or develop deeper relationships.

Expansionists are the people who seem to know everyone. They're outgoing and extroverted, and they excel at building large networks. But they may struggle to maintain close connections with everyone in their network, and their networks may lack depth. If you're an expansionist, you may want to learn to invest in a few close and deep relationships that are loyal, supportive and can help you through tough times.

Brokers have smaller networks than expansionists, but they have ties with many different groups. They're great at connecting different people and act as intermediaries to facilitate connections. But brokers may struggle to expand their networks and may be seen as less well-connected than expansionists. If you identify as a broker, you can help open people's minds to diverse perspectives, but make sure you also maintain a few deeper relationships.

Conveners tend to have strong and deep roots within a narrower social circle. They are the least likely of the three to suffer from loneliness. However, conveners may struggle to connect with people outside of their immediate social circle and may have difficulty expanding their networks. If you're a convener, there may be little diversity of thought in your community and therefore fewer new ideas. To avoid this, go out of your way to expose yourself to other perspectives that could help shape your thinking.

Each of these social networking styles has its own strengths and weaknesses. Like with every "personality quiz," don't feel the pressure to box yourself within these categories! The key to success is to understand which style most closely resembles your personality and goals and to use this information to build strong connections with others. If you're curious to learn more, take this quiz to figure out your social networking style (I found out I identified more closely with a broker 🙂)!

🎁 Weekly Finds:

• Dreading the Holidays? It’s Not Just You. A reminder to us all that it’s okay to not always feel okay during the holidays. And that it is…completely normal.

• Snake Oil Supplements - What are the best supplements to take to enhance your health and wellbeing? This fun, interactive graph visualizes all evidence for all health supplements in one chart and is regularly updated with the latest scientific data.

• Mochary Method Curriculum. Matt Mochary is the executive coach for the heads of Silicon Valley tech investment firms and companies on how to be the best leaders and build the best organizations possible. There are some key resources here around mindset shifting, life, and mental health that can be of value to everyone. My only caveat is that it’s a huge, slightly overwhelming list, so over the next few weeks over LinkedIn, I’ll start recapping and sharing these over LinkedIn and Twitter. Please follow if you want to learn more!

• Free 5 minute meditation: How to find the good in everything. You don't need to download an app or anything. Just listen to this if you want a quick break.

• Feel guilty about eating during the holidays? This guide can help you navigate the food guilt and body shame that we so commonly encounter during the holidays.

• Learn how to speak up. Simple, tactical, clear advice from Ami Vora, VP of Product & Design at WhatsApp on how to speak up.

• Tweet: 10 secrets to become mentally unbreakable.

• To regulate your emotions, take a shower. Research has shown that being “submerged” underwater slows down the heart; activates the vagus and parasympathetic nervous system - both of which break through the fight-flight response. The fight-flight response can keep you stuck in survival mode when you have intense emotions or are in a bad mood.

• Andy Dunn (Founder and CEO of Bonobos) on his journey with bipolar disorder, burnout, and how he almost went to jail for hitting his own wife. I had the pleasure of listening to this talk live, and it's incredible how honest and vulnerable he was with his own journey and struggles with burnout and mental health. I would highly recommend listening to it!

📰 In the News:

• Mental health technologies, including suicide prevention hotlines, are coming under fire for misusing sensitive data.

• Dr. Vivek Murthy, US Surgeon General, says the mental health crisis is the biggest concern facing the country because it impacts so many people and different facets of life. He also released a mindfulness series with Calm to provide people with tools and meditations that can help ease your end-of-year anxiety

• To provide Black people with more accessible, culturally competent support, the Confess Project is training hair stylists and barbers to be mental health advocates for their communities.

• Students sue Yale University, alleging discrimination against students with mental health disabilities

💌 Happy December! 🎄 Hope you have a wonderful time spent doing the things that give you life and love in the upcoming holiday season. Please reply to this email or submit here if you have any feedback.

That’s it for today — see you next week!